Introduction to a Queen
Hello! My name is Kathleen Taylor. Just for clarification, my title says "Introduction to a Queen" because queen rhymes with Kathleen, so I tend to pair the two together. I am personally not an actual queen, and it doesn't really have anything to do with my life, I just think that it sounds nice: "Queen Kathleen" My major is Industrial and Systems Engineering. Despite it sounding semi long and confusing, my major is simply training me to find the safest, fastest, most cost effective way for going from point A to point B. This can range from manufacturing car parts to organizing the lines at Disneyland. The best class that I took last semester was Ergonomics, which is basically the study of improving human machine interface, while also including designing things to cause less wear and tear on the human body. I would love to have a career that focuses around that; making things and systems better and easier for everyone. Some random things about m
Hi Kathleen,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, that's a hilarious cat meme.
I also really like having stories being told from the perspective of a bookworm. It makes so much sense that bookworms would tweak the stories that they nibble through. Have you considered putting a picture of a worm on the home page? Put a face to the name so to speak.
I also liked your retelling. It flowed quite well all the way through, down to the dramatic ending that was well encapsulated by the statue. I am not actually familiar with the statue; maybe you could tell us a bit more about where it came from. Is it from a different story? Also, it's very large, which makes it hard to see in one glance, but it gives a nice mix with the otherwise geometrical layout.
One suggestion - perhaps somewhere in your story, probably in the author's note, you could introduce a bit of bookworm-ish personality? Perhaps explain how the bookworm knows/feels about statues?
Hello Kathleen! I really enjoyed getting to read both your introduction and the first story that you have posted for your semester project. You had a great writing style and some of your word choice was fantastic in the way that you chose to write it all and tie it together. One suggestion I might have would be to perhaps provide more of a background or something, especially on your introduction. As much as I loved reading it, I couldn't help but feel that I wasn't really getting a sense of what was going to come as the story continues. Regarding your first story, I loved the way it all culminated in a very dramatic ending. I would also like to know how you came to the decision to write a story of this type. Maybe that's something else that you could also add into your author's note. Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteHello, Kathleen! Your storybook is looking fantastic! I really loved your introduction from the perspective of the bookworm. This was such a creative way of introducing your storybook and it made me really excited to read more!
ReplyDeleteI greatly enjoyed your story, Metamorphosis, but a few questions came to mind as I was reading. First of all did Maggie and Joe approve of this forbidden love, or did they reluctantly agree after much convincing? I have such a disrespect for cheating that it was difficult to feel bad for the couple when they were separated since they helped Emma continue the affair. If Maggie and Joe had a specific reason for helping Emma, it could be more tragic when their pure love was torn apart. Maybe Maggie and Joe were forced to cooperate due to some old secret that Emma had kept from their childhood? Maybe Maggie and Joe completely disagreed and warned Emma of the risk but knew it would be much worse if Juno found out and took revenge?
Great work!
Hi Kathleen! Your Storybook set up is very clean and inviting. Your introduction from the perspective of the bookworm is intriguing and funny! It is on the short side, but as you add more stories I am sure that you will have the ability to lengthen it.
ReplyDeleteYour story, Metamorphosis, overall was very good. There are a few typos, perhaps the most distracting was the second paragraph for it took me a few reads to figure out what you were trying to say. Your story was short, but I there is lots of room for you to expand your story. Here are some suggestions: describe your characters. While you did a good job of displaying their personalities, I do not know what they look like. I would start lengthening your story here and then see where else you can add description. Pictures also add a visual element to your story, so you could start with a picture to help you add character description. I wonder what the other characters thought about them turning into stone? I like the ending of them turning into stone, but you could always add commentary from other characters after that and end with some kind of moral lesson we are suppose to learn like many of the stories we have read this semester do. Overall, I think you did a great job, it was a fun read!
Hi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteI really like your stories, and the idea of each tale being told (and having been changed) by a bookworm is a very creative way to introduce many different kinds of stories with different themes and characters. Your pages are nice and clean, and your site is very easy to navigate. I liked your Metamorphosis story, even though it made me sad. You did an excellent job of weaving in the various elements of the different stories that you got your inspiration from. They combined into something unique that maintained the general tone of Ovid's stories. The Monster and the Mittens story was just adorable! Using first person was a good way to get yourself into the mind of the main character. I had actually read the story that it's based on, but I couldn't remember who the 'bad guy' was until I got to your author's note. Your stories are very well written and creative. You've done a really great job!
Kathleen, I just read your first two storybook stories. I also liked the blurb on the homepage. I'm just thinking about a cute little community of helpful bookworms. In your tale Metamorphosis, I like that you took the ancient tale of Ovid's and made situated it in the modern day. This way, the reader may feel closer to the setting that you are trying to portray and your imagery. I thought that it was so sad that Maggie and Joe could never be together again without turning into stone, but it does seem kind of right after helping their friend date a married man. I liked the second story, The Monster and the Mittens even more. It reminded me of some tale that I read in elementary school. While reading, the reader comes to understand that the animals are afraid of the monster before the monster realizes it. I thought that this was both kind of funny and sad! Anyway, good job on this!
ReplyDeleteHi Kathleen! Your homepage for your site feels cozy, like I'm in someone's living room and they're really going to sit down and tell me a story. I also like that you give people a little preview of what stories they can choose from. In your first story, wow. There were a lot of characters and a lot going on, but you told the story in such a compelling, clear way that I didn't have any trouble keeping up with the plot. I loved reading in both of your author's notes about all the different places you drew inspiration for your story — the part about using a statue where two people are stuck in the moment just before kissing for inspiration was really brilliant. I feel like you could write a screenplay about the Maggie and Joe feeling heavy and stiff when the other was near and trying to avoid each other. Also, your kittens and mittens story was lovely! Well-written, but definitely accessible for younger readers too, which I think works perfectly with the kittens and mittens theme. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteI like your website design and I think it goes well with your idea. Having the narrator of your stories be a bookworm is such a creative idea. That's unique idea that I haven't seen in anything else so far in the semester. I like how your introduction gives a brief overview of the stories you have written, and i gives the reader an option on which story to start with. After reading all your stories, I liked the story titled "The Monster and the Mittens" the most. I like that you changed the creature into a surprisingly friendly creature. This would be a great story for readers of ages. I was familiar with your first story, and your author's note helped clearly explain how you changed it and where you got the ideas from. Great work so far. Keep it up! I can't wait to check back and see your completed project.
Hey Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteThe premise of your portfolio is absolutely adorable, and it's what made me want to read it! I did notice on the introduction that you wrote "This story is his point of view" instead of "the story is from his point of view." Just a heads up!
Your first story "Metamorphosis" is really sad, but it a good way! Your author's note really helps explain where everything is coming from, and the image you chose is perfect. I honestly can't think of a single thing you would need to change. It's awesome the way it is!
The second story is also really cute! I could imagine reading they story to my toddler niece. I think she would love it. The only not I have for this story is that there is a bit of repetition in the first two sentences (the repeated "woods") which reads kind of weird.
So, as I was reading "The Artist's Creation" I wasn't sure how I felt about the new ending. Then I read your author's note and it completely changed my mind. You are so right! I'm a sucker for a happy ending, so I'm a little sad that the two didn't work out, but it honestly makes so much more sense this way. What are the odds that you could meet someone one day and click with them perfectly?
I love all of your stories! They're all amazing and, as a self-professed bookworm, I love your portfolio as a whole!
Hello again, Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I got to take another look at your portfolio. As I stated before, I really love your idea of using bookworms to tell these stories. You really have created a cute and fun storybook and the stories you have added are fantastic.
I wasn't sure how you could beat your story Metamorphosis, but after reading The Monster and the Mittens and Artist's creation I am even more impressed! For the story the Monster and the Mittens I really enjoyed how fun and sweet it was. You did a great job of creating confusion between the creatures but resolving the confusion in the end to have a happy ending. My only question was what does the creature look like? I know it is from his or her perspective but what about him or her made the kittens so scared? Maybe the Handre was quite a bit larger than all the other animals?
Anyways, your storybook is really coming along. Great work!
Hi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have gotten to view your Storybook this semester! I am so glad I was able to click on it before the semester was over. I really liked your introduction. I think it was super helpful in introducing the stories you have written briefly and also a small blurb of what they are about. I think your introduction is a great example of one that doesn't need to be too wordy, but still is able to accomplish the goal of an introduction. I also really liked all of your stories! They were very creative, and very well written. However, I would have to say that my favorite story is The Monster and the Mittens. I like how you completely revolutionized the story, but at the same time still kept some of the same elements. I haven't been able to read the original story, but the different plots that you incorporate and even the formatting of the story on your website makes all the difference. I appreciate that you formatted the several breaks, because this really helps in signaling the end of a scene, and allows for more fluidity for your readers. You've done a great job, and I wish you the best with the couple of weeks we have left. Nice job!
Hi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I really liked that your Introduction is straight to the point and in character. When I read the title I assumed that you, the author, were the bookworm, and I was so surprised and happy to find that the Introduction's narrator is an actual bookworm! How cute and effective.
"Metamorphosis" is a tragically beautiful story, and I'm truly impressed by the way you combined three different stories into one unique and powerful tale. My favorite parts were when Maggie and Joe could feel each other nearby by the stiffness in their limbs and, of course, the ending. If you wanted to edit this story more, maybe you could add some dialogue - perhaps when Juno delivers the curse.
My favorite story is "The Artist's Creation." You have done a stunningly nice job with this story! The descriptions and dialogue weave together and flow naturally and beautifully. I love how you expanded on how the artist fell in love with his creation, since it sounds pretty ridiculous for someone to fall in love with a sculpture. The way you described the artist falling in love incrementally made for a more engrossing and believable story. Also, when I read the original story at the beginning of the semester, I also felt that Pygmalion was only in love with the idea of the perfect woman and wasn't very satisfied with the ending. I like that you exposed his folly.
Wonderful writing! I truly enjoyed reading your stories.
Hi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteYour intro page is perfect! There's just enough detail for me to want to keep reading and the simple layout of your page makes it easy to focus on the text.
"Metamorphosis" combines all three of the stories mentioned in your authors note so smoothly! I loved reading that one! Great job!
In "The Monster and the Mittens" I think you could benefit from adding a little more description of the monster. It could be as easy as catching a glimpse of their reflection in the stream or in the kitten's eyes or even self reflection on the differences between itself and the kittens. I like the first person POV though, it adds a nice element of confusion to the story.
I love the message in "The Artist's Creation." I enjoyed the twist ending. Projection is a real problem that causes a lot of unhappiness. I'm glad the woman got out of that situation.
"The Spitting Story" is so interesting! I love all the twists! I especially love the death of the step mother! That's so cool!
Thanks for sharing your Portfolio! I love your writing style! You did a great job!
Hi Kathleen! I came back to comment on your portfolio because I remembered really enjoying the stories I read the first time I was here, and I loved your Spitting Story retelling, especially after reading the changes you made in your author's note. I actually probably wouldn't have understood that it was a Native American Cinderella story if you hadn't noted that it is one, and I thought it was cute that you shortened it for your "butterfly friends!" I like the idea of butterflies having a shorter attention span. I also liked that you differentiated the abilities the old women gave Kya and May. You have a wonderful, easy to read writing style that blends a lot of description with a sense that you're moving through the plot of each story quickly and efficiently. Nice work! I hope your finals week goes well, and congrats on making a great storybook.
ReplyDeleteHi Kathleen!
ReplyDeleteI came back to read a more finalized version of your portfolio, and I'm glad I did. I really enjoyed the two stories you've added since my last visit. I thought the changes you chose for your Pygmalion story were smart and ended in a theme that I particularly enjoyed. The original story has always felt extremely creepy to me. The idea that a woman's only place is to be some idealized version of what a man wants, and that we have no agency of our own outside of having a man's regard is just horrific. So, I'm glad you gave the woman a sense of self-worth and a real identity. I read the original version of the spitting story, and I thought this was a good retelling. Shortening it made it better. Congratulations on a nicely done set of stories, you did a really great job!