Story Week 9
There was once a college student named Laurel. Laurel had spent weeks looking for a
roommate. She noticed a that someone
else had put a post on the school’s Facebook page, saying that they also needed
a roommate. Laurel messaged this person,
Olivia, and set up a time for them to meet.
Laurel asked Olivia some things about herself, and came to
find that they had the same major, enjoyed the same TV shows, and liked similar
food.
‘This is perfect!’ thought Laurel, ‘We are equals, this will
work.’
Laurel asked Olivia if she would like to move in to the same
apartment together, and Olivia accepted.
Laurel and Olivia lived together for a while. Soon they fell into a routine. Olivia would give Laurel a ride to school,
and would pick up Laurel from her job in the evening. They would both make dinner, but Olivia would
pay for the basic groceries, like butter and milk.
One day, Laurel was talking to her friends about Olivia. Olivia was upset that Laurel had not done the
dishes, and had used all of the paper plates.
Laurel’s friends said, “Why is she complaining? You are more responsible than she is. You have a job to pay for your things; Olivia
gets money from her parents. She is
completely dependent on them, while you are independent. She would not be able to survive on her
own. You should put your foot down with
her.”
Laurel jumped up, exclaiming, “You are right! I will go confront her right now!”
Laurel went back to their apartment, and told Olivia, “You are
lucky to have me as a roommate, because I have a job and pay my own bills. I am
responsible and independent; you get money from your parents. You would not be able to survive as well as I
do on your own.”
Olivia said, “I get money from my parents because I got a
scholarship to college; something that I worked very hard for. If you are so independent, then I suppose you
can get your own ride to school, and can pay for your own groceries. You can buy your own dishes, because
everything in that cupboard I brought from home. And I will change the password to my Netflix
account, because you do not contribute to that bill. You are independent from your own parents,
but you have become dependent on me for many things. Let’s see how well you survive on your own”
Roommates by Bill Strain, Source: Wikimedia Commons
Author's note: This story is based on the Lioness and the Ostrich. That story is about a Lioness who goes hunting with and Ostrich because she believes them to be equals. When they are done hunting, the Ostrich has more kills than the Lioness. Despite this, the Lioness's cubs convince her that she is greater than the Ostrich because he has no teeth. The Lioness challenges the Ostrich to a fight, thinking that she will win, but the Ostrich wins, and ends up killing the Lioness. I thought that this paralleled a roommate dispute that a friend of mine had with her roommate, so I decided to write a version of that. I also mirrored the paragraphs of the original story, so the story arch is the same. Laurel is the Lioness and Olivia is the Ostrich (I gave the characters names that had they same initial so I would not get them confused.) In my opinion, the moral of this story is to not view yourself greater than others, because it can come back to bite you.
I like that your story is so relatable and that it reminds me of situations I have heard of from many people. There’s always one roommate that doesn’t do the dishes and everyone else has to help pick up the slack. I like Olivia’s comeback and the way she turned down Laurel. I would suggest adding a title instead of just Story Week 9 so that people can kind of get an idea of the story they’re about to read.
ReplyDeleteHi! I really like your story. Especially the picture, I love Anne Hathaway. I love when people retell their stories and base them in present day times it makes it much more enjoyable to read. I like the moral of your story, that sometimes there is a better approach to situations. It may have been better for Laurel to share her feelings rather than approaching the situation with more aggressiveness. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Kathleen,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job with the story. You were able to take a story that focuses on the feud between animals and translate it successfully to the story of two roommates. I know it isn't easy to take a story that is almost like an Aesop fable and turn it into something so modern, let alone be able to keep the original moral of the story!
Great job!
Hi Kathleen! I like how you retold this story based on your own personal experience. I could tell this was based on a true story which gave it a different feel than other stories I have read this semester. I could actually feel the tension between the roommates. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this story and the way that you told it.
ReplyDeleteKathleen, this story has themes that everyone can relate to. We have all taken for granted things that others do for us, and we have ourselves also felt unappreciated. I would suggest working on adding more adjectives or something to spice this tale up a little bit, and also on expanding some of the sentences and experimenting with sentence length. Some of the reading seemed to be a little choppy, but this is easily fixable. Good job on this story!
ReplyDeleteHey there Kathleen. I just got done reading your story and I am very impressed with some of the aspects you were able to incorporate. I thought you did a great job of using the original story of the animals and transferring it to yours with the use of roommates. You gave the story a very modern or "today" sense. Good job!
ReplyDelete